I was struck because I realized that the problem is that I need to be affirmed, gratified and acknowledged. Going over, in a flash, what had happened that morning, I got to the point of asking myself: in my experience, what is it that makes me feel affirmed, wanted, gratified? Well, while I was having these thoughts, just making this judgment as to which are the moments when I truly have the experience of being affirmed, wanted and gratified, opened me up, re-opened my life. In an instant I changed, so much so that I felt like myself again, after a morning in which I almost didn’t recognize myself. I think that this is related to what you were telling us last time on the true nature of reason, which is openness to totality. I had to get to the point of making this judgment – I could have dragged
myself on like that, but it was unbearable, already I couldn’t stand myself anymore! – , and
the very asking of these questions changed me.
Carron’s response … You were stuck for the entire morning because your desire of being affirmed had not been fulfilled (even worse: somebody else had taken the credit!). As we well know, this blocks us for hours or for weeks. However, what is really striking is that to get out of this predicament nothing extraordinary had to happen to her. She didn’t have to wait for some kind of “counter-event” so powerful as to be able to change her with regards to what had happened that morning at work. No. She simply had to use reason according to its nature, and this is much more extraordinary than anything else!
read all of the intervention as well as Fr. Carron’s response here (pp.2-3)